WASHINGTON,
D.C. -- Dismayed by the number
of hefty Airmen the current Fit to Fight program has failed to
reach, Air Force officials recently added a new device to it arsenal
of fitness and nutritional tools...
ALTUS AIR FORCE BASE, Okla. -- Air Force
and local firefighters teamed together to battle a grass fire here March 12.
The fire only consumed 100 acres, thousands less than base and local
officials had hoped for.
WRIGHT-PATTERSON AIR FORCE BASE, Ohio --
Scientists at the Air Force Research Laboratory here recently unveiled new
technology that will help noncommissioned officers and supervisors battle an
Air Force-wide epidemic.
SPECIAL REPORT -- In an effort to quell rumors that Air Force
maintainers are using drugs while on duty, Air Force officials released a
statement today explaining the situation.
MINOT AIR FORCE BASE, N.D. – Airmen at
Minot recently repaired and brought back online five Remote
Automated Weather Stations located at missile alert facilities
throughout North Dakota.
SPECIAL REPORT --
Photos released on the Air Force’s official Web site (Air Force
Link) this month may prove that Airmen at all levels are feeling the
crunch of stiff Fiscal 2005 budget cuts.
SOMEWHERE IN
IRAQ -- With wet naps and
polished silverware in hand, Airmen deployed to Iraq gather around
a dead goat they found just moments earlier. Airmen
here are boycotting the Army-operated chow halls because, as
one Airman said, "They make us put our own trays away!"
What's that all about?" Other grievances include: no bacon bits at the salad bar, water
spots on the drinking glasses, and no soft-serve ice cream.
'You suck!' Air Force
leaders admit real reason for ditching Good Conduct Medal
WASHINGTON,
D.C. -- Air Force senior
leaders recently explained the reason the service discontinued
the Air Force Good Conduct medal. The Uniform Board on Feb. 6
announced that the medal would no longer be presented to Airmen upon
completion of each three-year period of honorable service. The
decision left thousands of Airman wondering what they had done
wrong. A senior Air Force official explained the decision: "What's
the point? Asking today's Airmen to 'be good' is like asking a one-armed man to
juggle."
Commander's wife
jailed for impersonating an officer
TRAVIS AFB, Calif. --
An Air Force wing commander's wife was recently arrested for
"impersonating an officer." The offending spouse said she hasn't
done anything other commanders' wives haven't been doing for decades
... wearing their husband's rank.
Zoomie! Online solves
Air Force energy crisis
According to an Air Force Print News article, for the last six
months, "the Air Force has been working on a strategy to have energy
as a consideration in nearly all of its activities." It
took Zoomie! Online about five seconds to solve the problem. It's
called a light bulb.
DISCLAIMER -- The information
contained in the Zoomie! Online newsletter has, in most cases, been extracted from
actual Air Force situations, experience, news and imagery; however, in the
spirit of entertainment, the information has been greatly embellished.
