Collar
ID© helps
supervisors combat violations of Air Force standards

WRIGHT-PATTERSON AIR FORCE BASE, Ohio --
Scientists at the Air Force Research Laboratory here recently unveiled new
technology that will help noncommissioned officers and supervisors battle an
Air Force-wide epidemic.
The new device, called Collar ID ©, will be installed on all battle dress
uniform (BDU) and blue service shirts beginning October 2006. The device is
attached under the fabric of the inside collar. On male service shirts and
BDU blouses, an insulated wire stretches across the top outside edge of the
collar. The wire is placed on the lower edge of the collar on female shirts
and blouses.
When an Airman’s hair touches the collar (or extends below the collar on
female shirts/blouses), a high-pitched, audible alarm sounds, notifying the
nearest NCO or supervisor of the heinous infraction. The NCO or supervisor
can then immediately counsel the offending Airman on Air Force standards.
“This new technology will set the standard for identifying and correcting
follicle infractions,” said John Harborrow, the lead scientist on the team
that developed the Collar ID ©. “It’s almost unfair. Airmen will have no
other choice but to maintain standards.”
Army Air Force Exchange Service (AAFES) barbers will be issued remote key
cards that can deactivate the audible alarm – once the violation is
corrected, of course.
Senior Air Force leaders said their next task is to develop a chip, similar
to the device featured on South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut, a 1999 motion
picture based on the animated television series South Park. During the
movie, South Park star Eric Cartman has a V Chip installed in his brain,
which shocks him when he curses. Unlike the cartoon version of the V Chip,
the Air Force cranial device will prevent Airmen from swearing,
back-talking, disrespecting their superiors and various other acts of
insubordination common to today’s Airmen.
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