GENERAL: Leaps tall buildings in a single bound, is more powerful than a locomotive, is faster than a speeding bullet, walks on water, and gives policy to God. COLONEL: Leaps short buildings in a single bound, is more powerful than a switch engine, is just as fast as a speeding bullet, walks on water if the sea is calm, and talks to God. LIEUTENANT COLONEL: Leaps short buildings with a running start and a favorable wind, is almost as powerful as a switch engine, is faster than a speeding B-B, walks on water in an indoor swimming pool, and talks to God if a special request is approved. MAJOR: Barely clears quonset huts, loses tugs-of-war with locomotives, can fire a speeding bullet, swims well, and is occasionally addressed by God. CAPTAIN: Makes high marks when trying to leap buildings, is run over by locomotives, can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self-injury, can dog paddle, and talks to animals. 1ST LIEUTENANT: Runs into buildings, recognizes locomotives two out of three times, is not issued ammunition, can stay afloat if properly instructed, and talks to water. 2ND LIEUTENANT: Falls over doorsills when trying to enter buildings, says "Look at the Choo-choo," wets himself with a water pistol, and mumbles to himself. NCO: Lifts buildings and walks under them, kicks locomotives off the track, catches speeding bullets in his teeth and chews them. Freezes water with a single glance. He IS God! AIRMAN: Builds the buildings, lays the track and drives the trains, is responsible for arms and munitions, doesn't drink water, only beer. God smiles on him.