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Half-an-Airman |
Princess |
Airman-Colonel |
| Earning
that first set of stripes is automatic ... there’s nothing we can do
about that. However, this new rank -- called Half-an-Airman -- would
force half-ass Airman to wait an additional six months before earning
their first full stripe. |
She
graduated high school one year ago and she still thinks the world
revolves around her. Things that are more important than the military
include:
boys, makeup, hair styles, Kelly Clarkson’s latest album, and anything
to do with Orlando Bloom. |
We’ve all
worked with one of these Airmen at one time or another. The
Airman-Colonel actually believes that the U.S. Air Force is a
Democracy, where his decisions actually matter as much or more than his enlisted superiors. Foolish little Airman. |
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| Chief
SrA. |
Air-Soldier |
Baby
Staff |
| Promotion
to the NCO ranks is nearly automatic these days, but "back in the day"
--
when promotion to staff sergeant was actually a difficult task -- Airmen
could easily hold the rank of E-4 for half a decade. CHairforce.com
recognizes these slow burners. |
There are
airmen who believe Air Force personnel should be "trigger-pullers"
first. These Airmen breath, eat and
sleep soldiering skills; they think Air Force PT test should be
tougher; and they think the word "Hooah!" should be a permanent part
of the Air Force vocabulary. |
Ten years
ago, promotion to the rank of noncommissioned officer was a
respectable accomplishment that required years of experience and
months of studying. With
today’s 65-plus promotion percentage rates, Airman are becoming NCOs
well before their time. |
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| BDU
Bling! |
Desert Queen |
3-Stripes-Crooked |
| BDU Bling!
for those
Airmen who feel naked without 20 pounds of gold and silver draped
around their neck and a fake, baseball-size diamond hanging from the
side of their head. This new set of stripes would help add some bling!
to those bland BDUs. |
For those
deployed Airmen who ... how can we say it politely ... are “less than
attractive,” but become the center of attention in a
deployed environment (where the guy-to-gal ratio is about 5,000-to-1).
These airmen are sometimes referred to as “2-10-2s” (a 2 before they
deployed, a 10 while deployed, and then back to a 2 again). |
Senior
Airman (E-4) are expected to be confident and professional with
leadership and management skills superior to their E-1, E-2 and E-3
counterparts. The 3-Stripes-Crooked rank is for those senior
airmen who are comfortable not meeting those expectations. |
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Airman No Class |
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Also called "Airman Last Class," or
"Airman Cursed Class," this new stripe, complete with dirty, odiferous
material and lifelike house fly pin, will be presented to all new E-3s
who possess the character of prize pig. These two-striped
bottom-feeders typically smell like a two-week-old pair of gym socks,
and wear uniforms that haven't been "washed" since the Airmen was
caught outside in the last rain storm. |
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Be an intimidator!
Weak, overweight, or have never been in a fight before?
Yeah, you're in the Air Force. Don't worry. There's
help for you yet ...
CLICK HERE. |
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Restore PC performance!
Safely restore your personal computer to peak performance (even if
you're not a U.S. Air Force COMM expert) ...
CLICK HERE. |
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Investigate almost anyone!
Investigate practically anyone (your next date, neighbors,
relatives, even friends or coworkers) using a legal online
database ...
CLICK HERE. |
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