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| Lego Lieutenant |
Color Me Confused |
Lieutenant in Limbo |
| For those
new lieutenants who haven't quite grown up yet. These "butterbars"
can be found hanging out in packs of four to five of their peers,
often coordinating their clothing before hitting the local night clubs. |
These
lieutenants can handle minor
tasks with major supervision. They will occasionally attempt to pull rank on
a seasoned NCOs and must be constantly reminded that
they are only second lieutenants. The crayon rank insignia is a
helpful reminder from leadership to "shut up and color." |
This new
rank should be obvious to any lieutenants affected by
the Air Force's officer force shaping initiative (aka, "Here today, gone tomorrow).
A data chip embedded in the insignia will cause the bar to completely
fade away if the officer's Air Force career is terminated. |
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Baby Bird |
One-Percent'r |
Double Butterbar |
| In
recognition of those lieutenants who take themselves far too
seriously, the Air Force is awarding the "Baby Bird" rank, a name
derived from the "full-bird" attitude adopted by some first and second
lieutenants. Only young officers who know far more than
anyone else are eligible to wear this rank. |
This new
rank is reserved for that one percent of first lieutenants who didn't
make captain the first time. At a distance, this insignia actually resembles
captain's bars ... only upon closer inspection can you ridicule these lieutenants. |
Making
captain is virtually automatic (except for those "One Percent'ers" we
discussed to the left); but chances are, and few lieutenants will earn the
double-silver-bars long before they're ready for that type of
responsibility. We call these captains
"Double-Butterbars." |
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Captain Coattail |
Senior Captain |
Mrs. Colonel |
| For those
captains who have survived this far simply by riding the coattails of
their enlisted subordinates. Left on his or her own, a
half-captain will certainly fail and will often blame the nearest
Airman or NCO. |
It's not
uncommon for an officer to hold the rank of captain for upwards of six
years. The captain is the "senior airman" of the officer corps.
However, those O-3s who can't reach the level of major in six years can now
at least add another shiny silver bar to each shoulder. |
The service
is finally putting eagles on the shoulders of your commander's "boss"
... his spouse. Now Air Force members can salute the commander's
wife because it is required, instead of doing it
just to suck up to your boss. |
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O-Princess |
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Based on
the enlisted "Princess" insignia, a very, very small percentage of junior
officers will begin wearing the O-Princess grade insignia this fiscal
year. These "princesses" are normally highly attractive and
only hang out with other O-Princesses. Their career aspirations
include marrying a pilot and ... well, that's about it. |
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Be an intimidator!
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